Worst Day Part 4

Not all of my past experiences with the mother of my future children were bad; in fact, last year everything changed. Let me elaborate.

It was the summer after our sophomore year. We were at the pool, by this time I had learned not to stick around if Lisa was in the vicinity. Call it survival instinct. I had come to the conclusion that my proximity to Lisa heightened my chances for disaster. That being said I did my best to keep away from her.

Rodney and I, we had become good friends since camp (don’t worry he doesn’t smell and he has become the hero of the wrestling team) so he was a lot more pleasant to be around. Anyway we were at the pool. I had just completed a spectacular back flip that would have been Olympic material if I had not over spun and did a back flop. I think my back is still red to this day. Thankfully no one could hear my scream from under the water.

As I scrambled to the surface trying to figure out what had gone wrong it came to me. She must be here. I swam to the edge of the pull and Rodney was standing there laughing. He doubled over with his hand on his stomach. He stood back up and bumped right into you know who.

I know what you are saying, how is this not another terrible incident, don’t get ahead of me. Well, Lisa’s collision with Rodney was colossal. She fell back, struck her head on the edge of the pool right in front of me; here is where it gets good. I dove back down into the water grabbed her around the waist, I am a pretty good swimmer, where Rodney helped pull her out of the water. The rest of what happened I will explain based on eyewitness testimony.

Jarvis P. Green, sophomore
“I saw it all. I heard this obnoxious noise and I turned around to see where it was coming from and there was that big guy laughing like a love child of a donkey and hyena. It was the strangest thing. He stood up and backed right into that hot chick. She fell in the pool. Hey will this be in the paper, well make sure my name is spelled correctly. Anyway, she struck her head on the edge of the pool and must have passed out. Then some skinny, pale guy (this statement is only the opinion of the witness who was confused and under stress at the time of the incident) dove under the water and saved her life. I couldn’t see too much after that but I was told the skinny guy passed out and some (we did not seek further comment from this witness).

Shirley U. Gest, lifeguard
“I take my job very seriously, it’s peoples lives that we responsible for after all. I can’t tell you how many people think that being a life…what’s that, oh I’m sorry. I tend to ramble when I am nervous. Not used to being recorded, but I guess with what happened and all this is the best thing to do. I never had two people almost drown in one day before. I mean, we have had close calls, pranks and such, but never two honest to goodness near drowning. Oh, I’m sorry there I go again. I was sitting in the chair overlooking the diving pool. That is when some pale skinny kid (upon further investigation we were advised that lifeguards are affected by the sunlight and do not have the best eyesight, please disregard any physical descriptions of parties involved.) I had seen his type before they think they should be on the Olympic dive team or something; those are the ones you have to pay special attention to. They are known for doing dumb things and sure enough…oh you want me to stick to the facts about the drowning, sorry. Ok, the skinny kid did a back flop and I mean it was bad, I grabbed my float and was ready to jump in and save him, just in case; out of now where came this horrifying sound. Normally, I am pretty focused, you know, but I could not help but look up to see were that sound was coming from. I mean I thought it was like some Zombie apocalypse or something; besides I could see the skinny, what? Oh. please stop using that word. Sorry I didn’t mean to offend. I just calls them as I sees them. Well the sound was coming from this big guy, at first I thought he was choking or something, turns out he was just laughing. Well, he bumped in to this girl, she fell and hit her head. That is when I acted. I jumped from the chair and headed straight for her. Much to the skin…sorry much to the thin kid’s credit he swam out and grabbed her. Normally I would not recommend civilians taking matters into their own hands but he was fast. When the big guy pulled her out her nose was bleeding something awful and then the sk…I mean thin kid fainted and…what? Oh that’s enough, but I didn’t tell you how I saved his.

Lisa and I ended up in the same emergency room that day. She thanked me for saving her life and her parents asked if I could come to diner and that was the beginning of our friendship. Yep that is when we finally had gotten on course to our true destiny.