From this point on I will be unable to confirm the exact times. My cell phone was inadvertently left in our vehicle that was towed to the storage yard.
It was close to the time to leave and pick Lisa up. She called me and I reassured her that I was fine and that I would make sure her night would be the best night she ever had. Once I was done and she was convinced I received a call. It was the limousine service. They called to advise me that there was an accident on the highway and they would not be able to pick me up at the designated time, in fact they were going to give me a full refund and a coupon for the next ride; because they were not going to be able to show up at all.
I was undeterred. Rather than calling Lisa, God’s gift to humanity, and worry her about our night I figured I would walk over and politely explain what happened and see if her mom could give us a ride.
I went to my room to prepare. I found it a little difficult to get my hair to cooperate since I was unable to use my right arm. By now it was about three sizes bigger. The swelling was almost to my wrist and I was pretty sure it was broken. I was able to do my hair in such away that it mostly covered the lump on my forehead; unfortunately I wasn’t able to do anything about the black eye or swollen lip. (I had thought about using mom’s make up but decided against it).
Once I was done in the bathroom I took out the tux. I found that when your arm is swollen long sleeves are difficult to wear, by now I will admit I was desperate. NOTHING and I mean NOTHING was going to stop me. I used a pair of scissors and removed the sleeves. (I do not recommend this unless you can afford to by a new tux). I took one last look in the mirror and well considering what I had been through I thought I looked pretty good.
I went into the bathroom and before I tell you what happened next let me explain that my right eye was almost swollen shut by this time so my vision was not at its best. I reached for my tooth brush and my advise to you is to not store your pimple cream near your toothpaste; enough said.
I made it out of the house with flowers in hand and was now walking the three blocks to Lisa’s house. I knew that given our history, and me saving her life and all, she would not mind in the least, my appearance.
The sky was clear, the birds were singing and a bee was buzzing. It started near my ear and I casually swiped it away; it was determined however and kept insisting on landing on the flowers I was carrying. I put the flowers in the right hand and then gave the thing a good whack. That did it or so I thought.
The bee went away only to get his friends. The bees began to swarm around me like there weren’t any other flowers left on the planet. I knew if I was going to get to Lisa’s in one piece I would have to defend myself. I took the flowers in hand and began to slash and strike my enemy with dogged determination. Soon there were to many, for even a physical specimen such as myself, to fight off. I ran.
Now if I had full use of my eyesight, I probably would have seen the small hedge that was before me. I didn’t. I fell right on to Mr. Harold’s lawn. He obviously had not read the water restrictions; because not only were his sprinklers on, they had been on for a long time. How do I know you ask. I know because there was a large mud puddle right were I fell. While the mud made a softer landing, which I appreciated, it did nothing to further my already dire appearance.
That did it. At that very moment I realized that the world was against Lisa and me. For some reason I was not to be with the one I loved, the one I would climb the highest mountain for and the one I would swim the deepest ocean for. Any man who was half the man I was would give up, but not Jason P. Sanders. No sir. I would take Lisa to the dance, we would fall deeply in love and live happily ever after if I died on the way and had to bring myself back to life.
I straightened my jacket, took a deep breath and let it out slowly. A little dog came out of the house across the street and began barking incessantly at me. I growled back and it ran off with it’s tail between its legs. That’s right no one was going to mess with me for the next ten minutes.
I made it to the end of the street and turned north towards Lisa’s house. My shoes squished and it was becoming harder to move because my jacket was stiffening with the mud.
I was a block away. The next few moments are a little fuzzy, so forgive me if I don’t give you the exact story. I think the dizziness in my head had something to do with it. I approached Lisa’s door and knocked.
No one answered at first. I figured she was just busy beautifying herself; as if she could look more stunning than she was. I have to admit my palms were sweating, my hands shook a little and I found it a little hard to breath. The breathing part may have been because of the bee stings.
The porch light was turned on and it stung my good eye. The door opened and there stood an old lady. I introduced myself to Lisa’s grandma and politely asked if she was ready. The lady must have had a hard time hearing me, my lip was still swollen after all.
She began to shut the door and I put my hand out. I didn’t want to be rude but I had been through a lot. I insisted again and tried to speak as clearly and loudly as possible. I can be sympathetic to seniors and understand they can be a little hard of hearing. She left me standing there at the door. That was more like it I thought. I walked into the entry way.
I looked at the photos on the wall and quickly came to the realization that this was not Lisa’s house. Panic struck me. I had been to Lisa’s house once, maybe twice and I was pretty sure she did not have yellow flowered wall paper; however that was not what gave it away. On the flower covered wall was a picture of a man, that was…let’s just say he was not of the same nationality Lisa was. Just when I begin to think maybe it was some distant relative the lady returned. She was carrying a shot gun.
I did what any self respecting man would have done. I ran. I turned pulled the door open let out one of my signature screams and ran. I was half way down the block when I stopped and a good thing I did too, because I had arrived at Lisa’s house. There was no mistaking it now. She and her friends were there all dressed up in their ball dresses and staring.
I figured they were surprised to see me in such good shape and dressed to the nines. I walked up to the porch and gave Lisa my best smile. She was stunning. I swear to you the world lit up with red and blue and white.
She stood there with her mouth open. I lifted the stems (that was all that was left of the flowers) and complimented her on her drop dead gorgeous looks. I thought the moment was too much for her because she had tears in her eyes.
That my friends is when she informed me that she hated me and never wanted to see me again. I was in shock. I had worked so hard to get here and now all my dreams were dashed, just like that. One moment, one statement, one slammed door; it was too much. I am not ashamed to admit this I actually felt like crying.
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